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| Hey K, How've you been? How's life? Seems you're doing ok. It's been what, five, six years since we last spoke and I guess I can only watch from a distance as we both grow. I think I'm nearly your equal now. At least I think so. You've come a long way. Hell, we both have, haven't we? From retarded fan characters to original work, we've done some pushing, pulling, tweaking and shoving to get our studios up and running. I wish I wasn't so jealous and gullible then. I dunno if you'd believe me but... it's all A's fault. She was the one who told me things about you that made me hate you. I bet she told you things about me, too. I wish I wasn't so gullible to believe her and instead trusted what I knew about you. I wish I was a better friend. I wish for a lot of things, really. I wish somehow you'd get this letter. You said you were jealous of the way I thought, the way I came up with concepts. I never got to tell you why I envied you. I was jealous of the support your family gave you. I didn't have a sister to help me learn how to draw and I didn't have parents who would pat me on the back when I drew something nice. It was all me. I wished that just for one day, I could have what you had. I wished I could be loved too. And you did it so easily. I look at your stuff every now and then like some silent sentinel or something like that. I can see you have gone a long way. Your style's better now and your colors are smoother. I wish I could talk to you again. Fat chance of you listening to me though. I tried, remember? I really did. Twice. But I guess I caused more damage than I thought. It's all her fault... and half mine for being gullible. Those memories are still burned in me, you know. I can recall them clearly. Every word. I can stand in that same spot in the driveway of ICA and look at the place you were at. I could stand underneath that tree and look for an ant nest to drown all over again. I could walk down the street to the house where we first met. I can do it all. I still remember everything. What I want more than anything is to be happy that you're coming back to Manila. Right now, I feel nothing but regret when I read about it. Regret and a little hope that J calls me and goes "K's coming back to Manila and we're gonna meet!". Then I'd go "Can I come? I wanna see her too." Because I do. I wish I could see you just one time and explain, apologize and make amends in person. Notes can be ignored, comments can be deleted but when you're face to face, there's no choice but to sit and listen. That would be nice. A private little corner of a coffee shop somewhere where we can talk. Just you and me. Starbucks. My treat. If I knew where you were, I'd send you something. Something you'd like, something you know came from me. I guess I keep doing this because I want some closure. Huh... Found you on LJ. Whadaya know. You're friends with the other her. She's a different story altogether. Won't mix that with this. That has closure. You don't. I guess S got to you first and you probably heard about our fight. Fat chance of me getting the closure I need now, huh? I suppose the only way I'd be able to get the closure I need is by seeing you by chance. Hopefully, you'll forgive me then if I explained myself. I really hate myself for being gullible and stupid then. If I wasn't... we'd probably be talking. A lot. Seriously... You are the biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. Hoping for some closure, S.S. I'm leaving this on public... Just in case fate should let you chance upon it. | ||||||||||
Chronicles:3 mortals dare to brave the wind   |
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